The power in a relationship lies with who cares less
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In fact, we are revisiting some of our most read posts this month as part of our attempt to give you some great advice on the subject of romance. Lately there has been some discussion on this blog about whether or not it is okay for Christians to date non-Christians. We encountered this same conversation over and over as we did research for Lies Young Women Believe.
Some of you have made similar comments here on the blog. But I know that you might not be willing to simply take my word on this one. I understand the temptation to believe that dating non-Christians is okay.
In fact, I get why so many young women have been deceived into thinking that it is a potentially wonderful missions opportunity. I actually fell for this one myself as a high school and college-aged woman. Let me introduce you to Brice. He just happens to be a handsome, funny college student who is currently serving as the youth ministry intern at my church. I asked him to read the parts of this blog where young women were talking about dating non-Christians.
How do we convince them that they should only date Christians? I hope that I can be of the power in a relationship lies with who cares less help to you ladies. To start off with, I will tell you about a few of my own personal dating experiences. The first two girls I dated were Christians, in the sense that they went to the same church and youth group I was in. We kept things pretty low-key.
We never did anything sexual, mainly because I personally thought it was wrong. Looking back, I thank the Lord for protecting my purity and the purity of the girls in those relationships. My next relationship was a bit different. My senior year of high school, a junior girl caught my eye. I tried to convince him and myself that it would be good for me to date her so that she might come to youth group and become a Christian.
I was dead wrong! The concept was simple-when a person is focused upward to the pinnacle of the triangle Godthey will eventually meet up with that special someone that God has specifically designed for them. If a guy and girl are in a relationship, they should be focused on God, and as they grow closer to God they will inevitably grow closer to one another.
What I was doing with this new girlfriend was taking my eyes off of God and focusing on the really pretty girl. Well, this really pretty girl and I made out a lot … way too much! There were some moments when we got far too close to a line that should not be crossed until marriage. I had been called into ministry a year and a half earlier, and I knew that she would not give me the support I would need in ministry.
We broke up a week later. The bottom line from that story is DO NOT WASTE your time, emotions, money, and most of all your heart on someone who is not a Christian. We soon started dating, the power in a relationship lies with who cares less. I prayed about it a few weeks later, and God told me I had jumped the gun and that we should break up. I thought all I needed to do was get to know her and once I knew her pretty well that we could date with the idea in both of our heads that the end result would be marriage.
So I listened to God and broke up with her. This devastated me and her. She completely withdrew from me, which really hurt. Before I left for camp that summer, I gave her a Bible and she gave me a journal and we said goodbye.
I spent the summer at camp. We wrote letters a few times a week. It seemed like the Lord was restoring our relationship. We began dating that summer in early July. It was a good time, but our focus was wrong. Our focus even as good Christian kids was on each other and not on God and how we were to be obedient to Him in His service.
We were far too physical for a Christian couple. She had a completely different way she wanted to live her life than I did when it came to serving the Lord. The point I am trying to make here is that even when a guy is a strong Christian at a similar maturity level as you are, there are other factors that must be considered such as your views on spending and saving money.
How you will give your time, money, and energy in service to the Lord? Are you both fine with living by faith and not have any real plans except to follow the Lord? Or does one of you want to be a lawyer and the other one wants to be an international missionary? There are many things that go into being equally yoked. For many of you, you may not be ready to be married.
Enjoy the friendships with guys around you as brothers. Let them know where you stand, and you will encourage and challenge them to grow as men of the Lord. If they are not down with respecting the power in a relationship lies with who cares less for taking this season in your life to grow more as a woman, then you need to pray for them that they may understand your heart and that you are letting yourself be prepared for your future husband.
When you do meet that man someday that you connect really well with … pray for him. Pray that he will grow and be transformed every day into the likeness of Christ. Ask God now to prepare you and your future husband for the time when you will be wed. As a young Christian girl, you should focus on Christ; focus on Which dating app is used the most in my area call on your life to follow Him.
Seek to understand what that means for each one of you. Who are you in Christ? What is your identity in Christ? You need to be content with serving and obeying Christ. You must not seek to find your fulfillment in a man. It simply is not there. It is only found in Christ. As you seek the Lord and focus on Him, if you are to be married, the Lord will put the perfect man for you in your path. You should be able to see him in several different roles and know that you would be best yoked with that one man while on this earth.
Pray for the man God is preparing for you right now, keep him in your prayers, and you will be oh so blessed when you meet him and see how God has been preparing you both. It is so important for you to realize that as Christians we need to only be considering other Christians for dating relationships. It is also important to know that God desires for you to marry and therefore date a Christian. He desires for you to marry a man who can lead you spiritually. If your only dating qualification is to find a guy who goes to church, you may find yourself in the situation Brice did.
Leave us your comments right here on this post. She is the author of several books and a frequent speaker and blogger to women of all ages. Erin lives on a small farm in the midwest with her husband and kids. We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help, the power in a relationship lies with who cares less.
Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it: I am from Nigeria. Ending a long-term relationship will not be easy. But if you are a follower of Jesus you have the power of the Holy Spirit living in you.
The Spirit of God will give you the strength to take the next step in doing what is right. The Lord has given you that step in His Word. For what do righteousness and. Turn away from repent that sin and ask Jesus to help you walk in His ways. Acknowledge to this young man that you love Jesus and cannot be in a relationship with one who does not love Jesus. Leave the relationship, ifeoma.
Seek the prayer and support of other followers of Jesus who can help you do the right thing…even when it is hard. Talk to the LORD about all that you are feeling and thinking, the power in a relationship lies with who cares less. Ask Him to change your heart.
He promises to answer you, my friend. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live Ps. My husband and I were so very, very careful to raise them in a Christian home and church. They even had Christian grandparents on both sides that were precious.
They are lovely young women. All college graduates and busy with their careers. They are physically beautiful and could be models. There are times I want to weep for the failure I feel, the power in a relationship lies with who cares less.
I have taken wise advice and zipped up my mouth and treat them with the same respect I would treat a friend or neighbor. I believe this has kept our the power in a relationship lies with who cares less close.
Two of our girls slowly drifted away from the Lord in college and chose guys who might even be agnostics or the new atheist type. I can see why they love their man to be honest, the power in a relationship lies with who cares less. They are interesting and successful by worldly standards. They have such fine qualities in just about every area except one. They have no desire for God. Believe me, we pray for them constantly. I believe there are marriages in the next year or so.
The church singles groups had much the power in a relationship lies with who cares less be desired. OH, did they loved those computer games—one was a dentist and one a doctor least you think their education was lacking. So, now, she, too, has joined the ranks of dating a doubtful Christian—a Methodist who shows no signs of ever being born-again. He knows so little about the Bible, but he is everything our daughter has wished for. I know that sounds terrible, but it is honest.
Very sad, but I know I am not the only one who feels this way. Precious friend, my heart grieves with you today. I join you in praying that they will see their need of a Savior. That they would turn from the muddy cisterns from which they are drinking and return to the Fountain of Living Water May the lies of the enemy be stilled and the voice of the tender Shepherd be heard in their ears today.
Press on, dear one, in this battle of intercession. Join with others who will stand with you in prayer.
Refuse to allow the enemy to gain the victory! The story has not yet been completed, friend. God is still on His throne. Your daughters are still living. The battle for their souls rages on. Oh, may you be strengthened in heart, soul, mind, and body to stand firm in interceding for God to redeem out of darkness your beloved daughters!
Perhaps it will be to use as well. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the day of evil and having done everything, to stand firm Eph.
My husband and I were so very, very careful to. They even had Christian. They are lovely young. There are times I want to. We are taught in the church that the. I believe this has kept. Two of our girls slowly drifted away from the Lord in. They are interesting and successful. They have such fine qualities in just about every. Believe me, we pray for. I believe there are marriages in the next year. Now she wishes she had. OH, did they loved those computer games—one.
So, now, she, too, has. He knows so little about the. Bible, but he is everything our daughter has wished for. I even think about the Rapture and. Very sad, but I know I am not the only one who feels this. He believes strongly in Evolution and we often try to avoid taking about religion and politics. Let me make one thing clear. I know that I am the only Bible or Christian thing he has access to currently. How Jesus redeemed you off the slave-block of sin and adopted you into His family.
And you get to recount the ways God is working in your life today! This is really helpful right now, because I recently was thinking about getting into a relationship with a non-christian guy. As hard as it is right now, I now that the Lord will provide a way out and someday I will meet the man he has for me.
I can tell this has been a difficult decision for you to make, Esther. But it is the right decision. And I am so proud of you! Only God can do that. So choosing to break off this relationship is an act of faith on your part — one that God will honor and bless. He loves you and has your best interest at the center of His heart for you. Trusting that His way is the best way will protect you and keep you in His will. Praying for you, my friend! I am kind of in this relationship, and the guy says that he would allow me to share my faith with him, and he is open to converting?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Allie! God desires to protect us and He has our best interests at the center of His heart for us. But our very closest relationships should be with those who share our heart for God. As Creator and Sustainer of all things including marriage and romance God alone has the right to establish the framework for relationships. The Bible is clear that followers of Jesus not marry those who have not chosen to follow Jesus. God wants what is best for us, friend.
God wants all people to understand and receive His great love. That is His heart, allie, but not all are willing. Oh, how great is the heartache in a marriage where there is not a shared love for Jesus and His ways.
See I have slightly fallen for a non Christian guy who I am good friends with, and he has made it no secret to how much he likes me and wishes we could be more than friends.
I myself though am struggling with the temptation of giving into my feelings for him. We are glad you posted your comment and we appreciate your honesty. You are right; sometimes it helps us to write out our struggles and put words and voice to them. When we do, it makes it clear that we are trying to talk ourselves into something that we know is not right.
I think it is no accident you found this blog as you are considering your choices with this guy. He only wants for you the BEST! Involve yourself in Christian groups: a Bible Study group at church, a Christian group on your school campus like Young Life or Campus Crusade, etc. You will find your life richer as you fellowship with others of like mind—a mind set on Jesus and the Word of God!
I pray you will be able to take the Pledge, beginning with this relationship to choose to do right and do as God the power in a relationship lies with who cares less of you. Sarah, I would caution you to use the Jeremiah verse. It is taken out of context often and misinterpreted.
Jeremiah was writing letters to Isreal. When reading that verse, it is the Lord telling the nation of Israel that he will make them prosper so that they may be a blessing to their neighbors. Take a look at Paul, Jesus, and many disciples. Thank you, Will, for your words. I used to feel as you do; I am well aware that the promise was given to Israel. It is indeed a biblical principle found in Scripture for us. His best always comes for those who follow His ways—not always found her on a dating app luna, but best.
And best produces good in our lives. I did say His rules are for our good; and that they always are. Sarah — thanks for sharing that. The third cup — representing the promise that God will redeem his people — was chosen because Jesus wanted to say that now HE will redeem his people. So, I will have to chew on that more before I get a better understanding of it. Thanks again for sharing that with me, it is very much appreciated.
The issue here is not an emphasis on the success of marriage. The emphasis here is that the Lord should be more important than marriage. The goal of marriage should be to glorify God — just like every part of life. Being equally-yoked with your significant other is entirely because of this. When both parties of the marriage have the same goal of doing everything they do to the glory of God, they can keep each other accountable, and can work as a team for the glory of our maker in heaven.
The overwhelming reason people marry Christians included is to achieve a fulfilling life with someone to love and be loved in return. We marry to serve the mutual emotional needs of ourself and our partner. If instead your primary goal is to glorify and obsess over God then the best way to achieve that would be to NOT get married or have children and instead devote your life to worship and glorification of God just as nuns do.
If however you are a normal, balanced person not an obsessed sycophant you can easily accommodate your religious convictions with someone not of your faith. I will agree finding a kindred spirit IS a consideration but it assumes less importance than the sum total of the rest of his virtues that make for a compatible, loving, happy relationship. Your definitely correct in saying people marry so that they can spend their life with someone they love.
That would be ignorant. However, I do mean to say that put God before your spouse is only appropriate when your spouse does that as well. That can be done in an innumerable amount of ways.
Just as there is not one single way to love your wife, there is also not one single way to worship the Lord. According to scripture marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ and his relationship with the church. That is why the church is often depicted as the bride of Christ. I think this is where we might differ. It only makes it the most important. There HAS tone something that is most important in your life.
My wife and I are a good example. She is Christian and I am not and our marriage has been strong and fulfilling for over ten years… and her faith as a Christian is as strong as it ever was. As I type my wife is looking over my shoulder nodding and concurring. Joe you seem to say the options are atheist or a lousy Christian. I would love to see your statistics on Mixed relationships. I know of a mixed relationship and it works but its a huge burden on the one who professes Christ.
They are at odds with what should be taught to their kids etc. For some reason I felt God is leading me to comment, possibly to help another who may be reading this, and also because I really really was encouraged by reading this article, the power in a relationship lies with who cares less.
Just a few weeks ago I had to break-up with a guy because I was hearing both from God, several close friends, and other people I look up to for their faith and God-filled lives to do so. It was partially because of that—essentially lying to our parents that really caused me to open my eyes to what God was showing me was wrong with our relationship. Like I said, it was so hard to cut things off.
He is a believer. But when he was still young, he was adopted by his uncle who is a catholic They made him as their real Son. His real family were Christians but they decided to adopt him by his uncle in order for him to study because they were having a financial problem. So he was forcefully attend in a catholic church do the same they were doing. He was even sent in a seminary school because thats his uncle wants him to do but he didint finished it.
Years pass, he graduated in college. I know its my fault because im so deeply inlove with him. I cant fight my feelings. He still share his faith with me. He knew about what the Bible says but he needs to know more about it so ive been sharing what i learned from our church. The problems is he is not attending a Christian church because of his new family who sustained his education.
He needs to follow what they say in short he has no freedom. So me as a christian im always advicing Him, sharing him what weve talked about on our sunday service in order for him to hear the Word of God.
We already have an early sexual intercourse. I dont know what to do. Thats one of the reason why i cant let him go. Pls i need help hope you can help me.
But I recently made the mistake of kissing just on the lips and unchristian guy. And now I regret my decision. Thank you for contacting us, Andrea! It also says that God removes our sins as far as the the power in a relationship lies with who cares less is from the west Ps. Will you also read and pray through the blog below? Letting Truth Rule When It Comes to Forgiveness diahann-carroll.info When God reveals sin in our lives, Elsy Medina Peregrym, we turn from it and turn back toward Him.
Scripture calls it repentance. If you have already placed your faith in Jesus, then simply agree with Him that you have not been living according to His ways. Confess that to Him. Then arise and live in a way that brings honor to God.
As it relates to dating, decide today that you will not date a man who is not a follower of Jesus. Ask Jesus to help you in this. Then ask Him to show you the heart reason behind your many relationships with guys that are not follower of Jesus. Jesus wants to bring healing to the hurts, fears, lies that have captivated your heart in this area.
I only want the man that He had planned for me. That is a goal for me. This brother, is so sweet, I could see him being a future small group leader, or even a pastor. I thought God was showing me that show off brother, and then showing me the other-kinder brother, but for what reason? When it is the right time for you to enter into a relationship, you can trust that God will lead a man to approach you and pursue you. Will you try to do that? Then I would like to share a few blogs with you and ask that you read and pray through them to see how God would have you respond in light of your emotions.
Please know I am praying for you this morning. Why Am I So Crazy for Boys? Boy Friends diahann-carroll.info Potential Boyfriend or Forever Brother diahann-carroll.info Should Girls Pursue Guys? So, most have been baptized whether they currently have any religious involvement in their lives. I think making it a black and white issue like this fails to take into account generational differences, situational differences, etc.
Otherwise, I would get no dates whatsoever…. As our relationship goes by things really change now, since we started as a friend and now as a couple. I taught him to make his devotion every night and go to church every Sunday but I was wondering what happened to our relationship we always fight everyday with a non-sense thing there is no third party both of us. He loved to go with our church and mingling with my co-believers he is actually active in helping with our technical team.
I always pray to God if this man will be my future man. Hope this will be the start of our relationship in spirit. I will appreciate every advise that you will give me. Thank you and Godbless! Is it okay to date non-Christians?
The girls involved in the research phase of this book told us things like:. If you can compromise, think about it … you can impact a non-Christian. I have recently been asked to write a section for this blog on the topic of dating non-Christians. BOTTOM LINE—Seek first the Kingdom of God and the rest will be provided.
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A Hero in Her Seventies. We may edit or remove your comment if it:. I am from Nigeria. Carrie Revive Our Hearts. Acknowledge to the LORD your sin in being in a relationship with a man who is not a lover of Jesus. Praying for you right now, friend. Ladies look for a man who lives the life that God prescribes, whatever religion, race, or other factor may seem relevant. Sarah Revive Our Hearts.
Thus, our understanding of the quote in this post:. Standing with you today in prayer. Moderate this comment by email. Lorree Revive Our Hearts. He will give you opportunity to meet a Christian guy when the timing is right.
Thank you for letting me speak to your cautions. God bless you, Will. I hope I was more clear this time. Letting Truth Rule When It Comes to Forgiveness diahann-carroll.info. When God reveals sin in our lives, Elsy Medina Peregrym, we turn from it and turn back toward Him. Praying for you today, friend. Dear Elsy Medina Peregrym. I think that it is amazing that God would love me enough that He would care enough to die for me.
How Boy-Crazy are you? Potential Boyfriend or Forever Brother diahann-carroll.info. Should Girls Pursue Guys? What to Write in the Margins of Your Bible. Still I Will Trust Him.
Best-selling authors DeMoss and Gresh team up to expose twisted messages about God, guys, appearance, and other falsehoods our media-driven culture feeds young women. Buy Now Popular Posts. How to Make a Prayer Notebook. Lies Young Women Believe is a Ministry of Revive Our Hearts.